Chapter 84: The Emperor PUA-ing Himself
This novel is translated and hosted on bcatranslation.
What a humble and straightforward wish.
It rendered the deity utterly speechless.
Rarely did the deity descend to the mortal realm, for this world could scarcely endure the vastness of his power. Yet every descent had been meticulously recorded by the Southern Kingdom, each wish granted inscribed in the Divine Register, to be passed down through generations.
This time, the wish was: “Can I eat your roasted chicken?”
The deity fell silent…
“I can bestow upon you boundless wealth,” he finally spoke, his tone filled with dignity. “You could purchase countless roasted chickens.” Even so, he hesitated, unwilling to descend merely to hand over a roasted chicken; it was beneath his station.
Lu Chao Chao pouted, her voice dripping with disdain. “Ni so dum.”
“Money, Unky Leng take. He keep. No mine!” She stomped her tiny feet. “Roast chicken, mine!” Tilting her head back, her gaze toward the deity carried the same pity one would give a simpleton.
Meanwhile, on the divine altar, the Emperor was stomping in fury.
“Have you found it yet? Which roasted chicken does she want? I’ll let her eat until she’s full!” he roared, his regal composure thoroughly shattered.
“Such sacrilege! I’m so furious I could faint!” he fumed, shaking violently, clutching at his chest for support. His attendants scurried to steady him.
The exchange with the deity had amplified the prayers, echoing throughout the hall. The childish voice, full of naivety and an odd milky sweetness, was unmistakable.
The Emperor’s face turned livid, and his stomps grew louder. He desperately wished to stuff that roasted chicken into the little one’s mouth himself.
Lu Chao Chao, however, yawned, losing patience. “Roast chicken, give or no?”
If not, she’d leave.
[Such stinginess for a deity,] she thought. [Didn’t he claim to bestow all the treasures of the world? Can’t even part with one chicken.]
Stretching up on her toes, she swiped at the roasted chicken on the altar, catching a bit of grease on her hand. She sniffed it and smiled blissfully. So fragrant.
Tonight, she resolved not to wash her hands, wishing to carry the aroma to bed.
The deity remained silent for a long time. His once mighty voice softened, tinged with melancholy. “Very well, I grant your wish.”
The roasted chicken floated into Lu Chao Chao’s hands.
Her eyes sparkled with an intensity that seemed to illuminate the heavens. “Wo’ll be ni’s bel’bel now!”
She clutched the chicken, took a giant bite, and chewed in delight. Happiness radiated from her face, and she seemed ready to leap into the sky with joy.
Then…
She paused, removing a piece of chicken butt from her mouth. “Ni eat?” she asked, holding it toward the deity.
The deity’s gaze lingered on the offering before his form gradually dissipated into the night.
Lu Chao Chao tilted her head, vaguely sensing familiarity in his voice but unable to place it.
Already assimilated into this world, she eagerly hugged the chicken, letting out excited cries. The grease smeared across her glowing face as she savored the tender and succulent meat.
“Worshiping gods is so good,” she exclaimed. “Can eat roast chicken.”
The Emperor’s face grew ashen, and he nearly collapsed, repeatedly clutching his chest. “Find her! Dig three feet into the ground if you must! Bring that fool to me!” His voice brimmed with exasperation.
The Crown Prince’s expression turned peculiar. He kept his head low, remaining silent.
Roast chicken, roast chicken, roast chicken, Lu Chao Chao’s muffled thoughts seemed to echo in his head. So delicious…
[So it’s her.] The Crown Prince finally understood the culprit behind the absurdity that had seized the capital.
Speculation spread throughout the city about the mysterious individual who had dared to ask the deity for a roasted chicken. Most agreed it must have been a child, judging by the high-pitched and childish tone that had been heard.
The Emperor returned to the palace, only to be informed shortly after:
“Your Majesty, we’ve found her.”
“A child was seen clutching a roasted chicken outside, claiming it was bestowed by the deity,” reported the Imperial Guards.
“Bring them in,” the Emperor ordered, his brows furrowing.
Soon, a woman approached, leading a toddling girl no older than one. Her eyes sparkled with an intelligence that seemed almost eerie, far from what one would expect from a mere infant.
“Did you claim that the deity gave you the roasted chicken?” The Emperor’s imposing figure loomed from his throne, his expression stern.
Eunuch Wang whispered, “This is…”
“Lu Jing Huai’s younger sister, Lu Jing Yao. She’s not yet a year old. The woman accompanying her is her mother, Madam Pei Jiao Jiao.”
The Emperor’s and the Crown Prince’s gazes sharpened. Madam Pei? Lu Jing Huai? So this was Lu Yuan Ze’s mistress.
Pei Jiao Jiao trembled with anxiety, prostrating herself on the ground as she led Lu Jing Yao in bowing deeply.
“Long live Your Majesty!”
Lu Jing Yao knelt properly, kowtowing twice with exaggerated precision.
Pei Jiao Jiao dared not lift her head to meet the Emperor’s eyes, her hand gripping her daughter’s trembling slightly. [Jing Yao is so clever,] she thought, [Surely this will earn us favor in His Majesty’s eyes.]
“Your Majesty,” Pei Jiao Jiao began.
“Silence! His Majesty did not ask you to speak!” Eunuch Wang interrupted sharply.
Pei Jiao Jiao faltered, her confidence waning. Lu Jing Yao squeezed her mother’s hand and mimicked the dignified tone of adults. “Yes, Your Majesty,” she said.
“It was Jing Yao who asked the deity for roast chicken.”
The Emperor, already predisposed to detest Lu Yuan Ze’s mistress, regarded the pair with barely concealed disdain. How could a one-year-old child possess such worldly calculation? It was repugnant.
“Imbeciles!” the Emperor bellowed, his voice trembling with anger.
The pair cowered, trembling in fear.
“Has Northern Zhao deprived you of food and clothing? That you’d shame us by asking a deity for roast chicken? Such foolishness and impropriety bring disgrace to the realm!” His anger shifted toward Pei Jiao Jiao. “As her mother, how have you raised her? She may be young and ignorant, but what is your excuse?”
Pei Jiao Jiao’s face turned pale as a sheet, her earlier ambitions shattering under the Emperor’s wrath.
Lu Jing Yao’s expression faltered, her eyes reflecting confusion. Why was this outcome so different from what she had envisioned?
“Get out! A child this young, already lying through her teeth with no semblance of upbringing!” the Emperor roared, sending them away in disgrace.
The commotion quickly became the talk of the capital, with rumors swirling about how Pei Jiao Jiao had claimed undue credit as Lu Jing Huai’s mother.
“Father, how do you know it wasn’t her?” the Crown Prince asked, perplexed.
The Emperor shot him a withering glare. “I am not ablind or deaf. Who else could it be but Lu Chao Chao?”
He promptly ordered, “Bring Lu Chao Chao to the palace, and do it discreetly.”
Eunuch Wang rushed off, muttering under his breath about the Emperor’s likely wrath against the mischievous girl.
Soon, Lu Chao Chao arrived, her face shiny with grease and a roasted chicken clutched in her arms. She offered a chicken bone to the Emperor, chirping, “Unky, eat chi’ken?”
The Crown Prince facepalmed, unsure how to plead for leniency.
But to everyone’s shock, the Emperor laughed. “Chao Chao, was it you who asked the deity for the roasted chicken?”
The little one nodded enthusiastically. “Yup yup, it’s me! So yummy, hehe!”
The Crown Prince opened his mouth to intervene but froze as the Emperor continued, “Chao Chao is such a good child.”
“No desire for fame or power. Truly a good child. While others would have demanded my throne, Chao Chao only asked for a simple roasted chicken.”
The Crown Prince was speechless. Was this the same man?
The Emperor’s self-PUA had officially reached its peak.
The king’s double standards at its finest.