Chapter 284: Hanging Up for a Beating
The novel is translated and hosted on BCatranslation.
“Why are you taking so long? Hurry up and let me in!” Xie Yu Zhou shouted from outside the gate. His round belly stuck out as he let out a big belch. Xie Yu Zhou was just a chubby little boy, but his mom—the Princess Consort—always kept a strict watch on what he ate. Today, he had snuck out to Snack Street and stuffed his pockets with all sorts of treats.
The gatekeeper was on his knees, trembling with fear, too scared to open the gate.
Just then, Xie Jingxi walked up with a stern face, followed by a group of people.
“Open the gate,” he ordered through clenched teeth.
The gatekeeper sighed quietly. [I hope the young master gets lucky this time.]
The gate creaked open just a little.
Xie Yu Zhou raised an eyebrow. “Is Father awake from his nap? Why do you look so scared? Don’t worry, I won’t get scolded this time.”
He mumbled as he walked in, “I skipped the test today and got away with it. Tomorrow, when I get my allowance, I’ll give you guys a tip.”
But as soon as he stepped inside, he froze. The courtyard was full of people!
His father, his mother, his uncle the king, his grandmother the dowager, and even a bunch of senior ministers and officials were all there.
Xie Yu Zhou’s eyes twitched as he quickly hid his snacks. “W-Why is everyone here? Grandmother? Auntie?” he stuttered. [Why does my head feel all fuzzy?]
“Can you guess why we’re here?” his mother snapped, her glare sharp like a knife.
Xie Yu Zhou looked around, confused. [What did I do? I just took a day off. How could that cause all this fuss?]
“Tell us, what did you do wrong?” Duke Jingxi demanded, his teeth grinding in anger.
“I-I just took one day off,” Xie Yu Zhou stuttered. [Why do they look like they want to eat me alive?]
Xie Jingxi’s chest heaved with anger. He pointed a trembling finger at his son. “I heard… you were spreading rumors that I died?!”
Xie Yu Zhou’s face went pale.
He quickly pointed at Lu Chao Chao. “The teacher said they only give days off for funerals. It was Princess Sunshine who said her grandma died first! I just said Father died after that!”
Getting more upset, he added, “The teacher is so unfair! He doesn’t like our family! When Princess Sunshine’s grandma died, she got three days off. But when Father ‘died,’ I only got one!”
Xie Jingxi nearly jumped up and down with rage. “So, just to get a day off, you went around telling people I was dead?!”
“I’m going to spank you silly, you troublemaker!”
“Look at this mess!” Xie Jingxi fumed. The dowager, the king, and all the ministers had come to mourn, and now his reputation was in ruins!
Xie Jingxi grabbed a ruler and charged at Xie Yu Zhou.
“Ouch, ouch, it hurts!” Xie Yu Zhou screamed.
“Spank him good! Spank him until he learns!” the king commanded, hands behind his back, still pale from the shock.
“Help! Uncle King, I just took one day off, waaaah, why do you want to spank me to death?!”
“Waaah, Grandmother, help! I’m your precious! I’m the only heir of Jingxi Manor! Grandmother, save me… Father wants to spank me to death…” Xie Yu Zhou wailed.
Earlier, the dowager had declared no more hitting children, but now she quietly turned away.
“Jingxi, put down the ruler,” the dowager finally spoke, giving a small glimmer of hope to Xie Yu Zhou. “Get my whip instead.”
Xie Yu Zhou’s eyes went wide. “Grandmother!!!”
“Grandmother, are you trying to end me?!” Xie Yu Zhou cried out in terror.
“Whip him good!” the dowager shouted, her hair messy, eyes red with anger. “This boy needs to learn a lesson!”
“Auntie, Auntie, I’m your favorite nephew! Save me, please… waaah…” Xie Yu Zhou pleaded with the Grand Princess.
The Grand Princess looked at him with a mix of pity and frustration.
“Jingxi, don’t be so harsh; he could really get hurt,” she said. “But if you don’t tie him up, he’ll just run away. Hang him up and beat him—that way, he can’t run off, and you won’t accidentally hit something important.”
“Auntie, are you a demon?” Xie Yu Zhou cried as he tried to back away in a panic.
“Are you all devils?! I just took one day off, and now you want to hang me up and whip me?! Waaah, if I’d known, I’d have just taken the test!”
“Princess Sunshine got a day off too, why aren’t you punishing her? It’s not fair, waaaah, it’s just not fair!” Xie Yu Zhou shouted.
Lu Chao Chao looked at him calmly and said in a small baby-like voice, “’Cause my grandma really did die.”
Xie Yu Zhou stopped, his face blank, and turned to Lu Chao Chao.
“Why didn’t you say that clearly?!”
Then, he dropped to his knees with a loud thud. “Father, Father, I know I was wrong. Yu Zhou won’t lie again, never skip school again. Father, it was just one day off; why do you want to beat me to death for that?!”
“One day off? Look at all the officials here!” someone shouted.
“You took one day off, and the whole court came to your house for a funeral!”
“You, you brat! You really do need a beating!” the king exclaimed, feeling like he had aged ten years from the shock.
“Fu-Funeral?” Xie Yu Zhou looked back at Lu Chao Chao.
Lu Chao Chao blinked her big, innocent eyes. “Yep, I told them.”
Xie Yu Zhou…
[I’m doomed.]
That one day off turned out to be way too costly.
Xie Yu Zhou was hung up and beaten so badly it was hard to watch.
As the Princess Consort wiped away her tears, she turned to the royal doctor. “Doctor, please, give me a prescription for fertility herbs.”
The doctor sighed softly, “Alright.”
Xie Yu Zhou’s cries echoed throughout the manor.
“Wow, Brother Yu Zhou dropped lots of goodies!” Lu Chao Chao crouched down, picking up the snacks that had fallen from his pockets. They were still warm and tasted yummy.
“Waaah, Lu Chao Chao, you bring me bad luck… You’re my bad luck…” Xie Yu Zhou sobbed uncontrollably.
Ever since he returned to the capital, every time he got into trouble, it seemed to be because of Lu Chao Chao. He was truly miserable.
He had wanted just one day off, but now he had seven. Seven days to recover from his wounds.
Prince Jingxi and the Princess Consort, embarrassed and apologetic, personally escorted all the guests out.
The couple exchanged tearful glances, at a loss for words. “Forget it, let’s try for another child.”
Lu Chao Chao trailed behind them while the civil and military officials kept a cautious eye on her. “Princess Sunshine, aren’t you taking your coffin back with you?”
Lu Chao Chao blinked. “Taking it back would be a waste. Give it to Uncle instead. If Uncle gets so angry he dies one day, it will be useful.”
Everyone gulped.
She was serious about giving it away.
The ministers lingered, chatting with Lu Chao Chao some more due to the incident from last time. They wanted to know if she’s going to start speaking directly into their minds again, but after hearing no strange sounds, they felt relieved.
[Strange, why did we hear Princess Sunshine’s inner thoughts last time?]
Neither the king nor the officials could figure it out.
The crown prince scooped up Lu Chao Chao. “Let’s go, I’ll take you to the funeral.”
With Lu Chao Chao in his arms, he walked off, a mix of pride and mystery surrounding him.
Meanwhile, far away in the Southern Kingdom’s embassy…
“That kid, looking so silly and clueless, is really the Little Lucky Star of North Zhao?” Nan Mu Bai exclaimed in surprise.