Chapter 121: No Secrets to Hide
This novel is translated and hosted on bcatranslation.
“What a joke! A one-and-a-half-year-old collecting debts?”
“Forget her! Even the Crown Prince can’t recover a single coin!” Imperial Uncle Xiao exclaimed, raising his wine cup with a triumphant shake of his head.
He had issued the orders himself: no one was allowed to repay the debt.
Back in the day, when the late emperor married the Empress Dowager, the Xiao family had reached the height of their influence. They were untouchable in the capital; who would dare provoke them?
But after the late emperor’s passing and Emperor Xuan Ping’s rise to power, the Xiao family faced deliberate suppression.
“Why doesn’t Aunt intervene?” the Imperial Uncle grumbled, irritation heavy in his tone. “She allows His Majesty to oppress the Xiao family! It’s her maternal family; how could it ever harm her?”
“And Yun Er! She’s my legitimate daughter, yet she only managed to become a consort during the selection.”
“If our family had two empresses, that would be an unparalleled honor.”
“The Xiao family could flourish for another hundred years!” he exclaimed. “The Protectorate Duke’s family boasts an Imperial Consort Xian, while the Stabilizing Duke is just a martial general—and yet their family produced an empress! How are we inferior to them? We are legitimate imperial relatives!” His face grew flushed from drink as his laughter boomed.
“Let’s see who dares to repay their debts. Whoever does is nothing but a turtle bastard!” he declared, laughing drunkenly. “Hic… No one pays! The Imperial Uncle guarantees it!”
“Where’s that little debt collector now?” he asked, reeking of alcohol.
“At the gates of the Vice Minister of Personnel’s residence,” a subordinate replied respectfully. “The Vice Minister is tough. They say he can stop a child’s wailing. That little rascal is bound to come out crying.”
Meanwhile, Lu Chao Chao had already been carried to the gates of the Vice Minister of Personnel’s manor.
At one-and-a-half years old, Lu Chao Chao wasn’t even as tall as the threshold. Her hair was tied into two small tufts, and she wore a peach-pink dress with a tiny milk bottle hanging around her neck.
“Debt collection,” the little one called out softly, her voice sweet and clear.
The gatekeeper hurried to inform the master of the house. Before long, someone came to carry Lu Chao Chao inside.
Yes, carried—not invited.
The Ministry of Personnel managed the selection of officials, and Lord Zhou was known for his stern and rigid demeanor. Before him, no one dared act impudently.
“Young lady, have you eaten? Our family is just sitting down for lunch,” Old Madam Lin, Lord Zhou’s wife, asked kindly.
“Not yet. Greetings, Grandmother,” the tiny girl replied sweetly. Her words were so sugary, and her snow-white adorableness so disarming, that no one felt any wariness.
At a glance from the old madam, a servant lifted her to the dining table.
On the table…
Well, the dishes were exceedingly simple.
“Lunch is plain; young lady, I hope you won’t mind,” Old Madam Lin said.
“Grandmother, I don’t eat steamed buns and pickled vegetables! I want venison soup! I want cherry pork! I won’t eat, I won’t eat…” cried the young grandson sitting at the table.
Bang!
A loud noise interrupted.
Lord Zhou slammed the table, his sharp eyes striking fear into the boy, who immediately shivered.
“If you won’t eat, then get out!”
The boy hiccupped and fell silent in terror, silently letting tears fall.
In the Zhou household, one did not speak while eating or sleeping. The meal proceeded in complete silence.
Lu Chao Chao, holding her milk bottle, sipped noisily.
She wasn’t tempted by the food at all.
[The Crown Prince said that if you want a horse to run, you have to feed it well.] Before setting out, she’d been given a hearty meal.
Everyone cast sideways glances at her, marveling at her composure. Though only one-and-a-half, she didn’t cry or make a fuss.
Once the meal was finished, the tiny girl spoke leisurely.
“Grandpa Zhou, I need the money now,” she said, extending her small hand.
Lord Zhou’s expression remained indifferent. “There is no money.”
“No money, but life? You can have that,” she replied, her dark, bright eyes staring unblinkingly.
“Don’t push me! I’m really strong!” Lu Chao Chao puffed her cheeks, her expression fierce.
Lord Zhou chuckled coldly. The emperor’s methods were absurd indeed.
A one-and-a-half-year-old debt collector? How muddle-headed could His Majesty be?
“Then… I’ll reveal your secrets,” Chao Chao said innocently, her face pure and harmless.
“What secrets could I have? I’ve done nothing to shame His Majesty or my conscience. There are no secrets to be found!” Lord Zhou declared fearlessly.
Could he possibly fear a child?
Lu Chao Chao glanced at Old Madam Lin before shifting her gaze back to Official Zhou.
“Mud…”
“Mud… Mud porridge wearing a skirt!” Lu Chao Chao stood atop the bench, shouting loudly, her hands on her hips, looking arrogantly smug.
“Mud secretly wears Grandmother’s… Waaaahhh! Let me go, mud, let me…”
Official Zhou shot up, rushing forward to clamp a hand over Lu Chao Chao’s mouth.
The usually composed elder now looked utterly panicked.
“Wait… Wait! We’ll discuss this inside.” Official Zhou scooped her up with one hand. His steady hand was trembling uncontrollably.
“This little girl dares spout such nonsense. I must discipline her!”
“Oh, children are just kids. Don’t frighten her. What kind of debt could she possibly collect?” the others said, brushing off the matter.
Old Madam Lin caught faint murmurs about skirts but didn’t catch the details. Moments later, she saw the old man carrying Lu Chao Chao into the study, slamming the door shut behind them.
Inside, Lu Chao Chao’s face turned beet red. “Mud is wearing skirts!!”
“Mud even braids hair and wears lip balm…” she accused angrily.
Official Zhou clasped his hands together as if praying. “Keep your voice down, Ancestor! I beg you, keep it down!”
“I’ll even call you Ancestor, alright? Please, lower your voice!”
He opened the door slightly and barked orders: “Everyone, wait outside the courtyard. No one is to approach!”
“If you do, I’ll sell the lot of you off!” His expression turned fierce.
But as soon as he turned back to Lu Chao Chao, his face filled with despair. [How does she know?!]
Lu Chao Chao glanced at the birds perched on the windowsill.
The breeze, the flying birds, the world itself—everything speaks to me.
The sixty-year-old Official Zhou harbored a peculiar secret: in his youth, he’d developed a fondness for wearing women’s clothing. Yet, no one had ever known, not even the wife who had shared his bed for forty years.
Lu Chao Chao shoved her hands into her pockets, staring at him smugly. “Pay up.”
Official Zhou’s face twisted with regret, weighing his options.
Lu Chao Chao’s crafty eyes darted to the porcelain vase near his bed. “Secrets…”
Official Zhou’s face turned ashen.
That vase concealed the lever to his hidden chamber.
The chamber didn’t hold gold, silver, or jewels but a collection of women’s attire, where he indulged in wearing dresses and admiring himself in the mirror.
Sliding off the bench, Lu Chao Chao darted out and sprinted straight to the privy. She knocked on the wall outside. “I want it!”
Official Zhou’s eyes bulged. [Ahhh!!!]
She knows everything!
Lu Chao Chao puffed out her tiny chest. “I, Lu Chao Chao, demand repayment!”
Official Zhou’s face was void of color, tears threatening to fall. His secret, his dignity, his money… would he lose it all?
“If mud doesn’t pay, I’ll tell Grandmother! I’ll tell your son…”
“I’ll tell your daughter-in-law that mud stole her…” Official Zhou clamped a hand over her mouth again.
[It was just one skirt from my daughter-in-law!!!]
“Fine, fine! I’ll pay!”
“I’ll pay! Just leave! Please, leave!” Official Zhou gritted his teeth, practically spitting the words.
Lu Chao Chao turned her head aside. “Hmph!”
“Five thousand taels! Three thousand to repay the debt, two thousand as my donation! I’ll donate it, alright?”
Official Zhou’s voice trembled with desperation. “Just don’t tell anyone, I beg you. Please, don’t!”
At his age, already a grandfather, with one foot in the grave… he couldn’t lose face now.
Lu Chao Chao spent barely half an hour in his room and secured five thousand taels.
“Hahaha! Old Zhou is such a fool! Letting a child wring money out of him!”
“Isn’t he ashamed?”
“By the way, which house is the debt-collector spirit heading to next? Who’s the next poor fool?” Prince He Shuo laughed heartily.
“Official Zhou dropped her off at our doorstep.”
“You scoundrel!!”
Well, suffering alone is not enough. ?
Exactly ?????