Chapter 31
Chapter 31: Protagonist, Dead?
After she finished assaulting the System with affection, Qian Qi wiped the Earth Tuber Fruits clean and stuffed them into her pocket like diamonds. She lifted her head—and immediately spotted more Earth Tuber Magic Eggplants nearby.
Her smile sharpened.
“System,” she said sweetly, raising her knife, “have you ever heard the saying… leave no feather unplucked?”
The panel flashed three question marks in pure dread.
Then Qian Qi lunged.
Heavy thuds cracked through the forest—thunk, thunk, thunk—shells splitting open one after another. The wriggling flesh inside oozed pale gray blood, disgusting enough to make a normal person gag.
Qian Qi, the “killer,” held the tiny “brains” of her victims and laughed like a cartoon villain.
The System went quiet, the way someone went quiet when they finally understood who they were trapped with.
“This isn’t ‘leave no feather unplucked,’” its silence seemed to say. “This is ‘Qian Qi plucks lives.’”
“Thirty thousand… sixty thousand… ninety thousand…” Qian Qi counted, stuffing fruits into her pockets. “Two hundred forty thousand… three hundred sixty thousand…”
The earlier agony of losing five hundred thousand? Healed instantly by the weight of money in her pants.
She squatted there, giggling to herself. “Heh heh. I’m rich. My sweet retirement is one step closer…”
And then—joy turned into doom.
A deep, brutal roar exploded behind her, so loud it felt like it could punch a hole through the sky.
Qian Qi whirled, snatched up her poisoned Cloudthorn Sunflower spike, and aimed it toward the sound.
Then she looked up.
Way up.
A massive elephant-shaped magic beast stood there, at least six meters tall, its shadow swallowing half the forest floor.
Qian Qi’s brain made one clear decision: run.
“Oh, I’m dead, I’m dead!” she screamed as she bolted, shoving an Earth Tuber Fruit into her mouth mid-sprint. “Are you kidding me? Why is it so huge? That’s an E-rank magic beast?!”
The blue panel floated beside her, leisurely. “Don’t be scared~ Be brave. You, the invincible ‘eggplant-slaying hero,’ can do it. ^_^”
“To hell with your grandma’s legs—!”
Her curse didn’t even finish before the Swift Magic Elephant stepped down.
Right on her.
Qian Qi’s vision filled with foot. Then darkness. Then rage in the shape of censored symbols.
#$%…*@#$%…
The elephant didn’t even notice her. To it, she was a pebble. It shifted its foot like something had annoyed it, then trudged on.
In the footprint crater, Qian Qi lay spread-eagle, motionless, a giant bump swelling on the back of her head.
The Black Forest went quiet again. Wind brushed leaves. The world held its breath.
Half a minute later, the “corpse” twitched.
Qian Qi spat dirt. “Ptoo. Ptoo.”
She pushed herself up, patted herself down, and froze.
She was… fine.
She bared her teeth, held her bump, and glared at the panel. “You could’ve just told me to lie down! Why did you hit my head?”
The panel replied instantly, shameless. “Because it made me happy.”
Qian Qi stared. “What?”
But she couldn’t deny it—the Earth Tuber Fruit was insane. A beast that big stepped on her and she wasn’t even paste. She’d thought she’d be a pancake.
Then her eyes widened. “My money!”
She sprinted to where she’d flung her fruits before impact and gathered them up one by one, clutching each like a lost child.
Thank god she’d reacted fast. If those got crushed, that was three hundred thirty thousand yuan turning into mush.
With that miracle defense and her precious loot secured, Qian Qi’s last trace of fear evaporated. She started darting around the Black Forest again, hunting more Earth Tuber Magic Eggplants like a predator.
Strangely, the forest was huge but the magic beasts seemed sparse. In hours of wandering, she only ran into that one elephant.
“E-rank dungeon? That’s it?” Qian Qi scoffed, full of confidence.
The dungeon heard her arrogance and chose violence.
A giant bald owl covered in fiery red feathers dove out of the sky. Its claws snatched Qian Qi—tiny as a snack—and hauled her into the air.
Qian Qi looked down at the dizzying drop and nearly choked on her own heartbeat. “Help! I was just running my mouth!”
The Red-Feather Bald Owl, tragically, did not speak human.
Cold wind cut her face. Her body went numb fast. Qian Qi clenched her Cloudthorn Sunflower spike, ready to stab—
And the owl suddenly spotted something bigger, fatter, and more delicious.
It let go.
Qian Qi: “?!”
She rammed another Earth Tuber Fruit into her mouth, bracing for the fall—
And the owl dove again and swallowed her whole.
So it wasn’t dropping sesame to pick up a watermelon. It was eating sesame first, then going after the watermelon.
Unfortunately for it…
The moment the owl’s sharp teeth bit down on Qian Qi’s body, there was a crisp crack.
Its teeth shattered.
The owl’s eyes went wide with pure disbelief.
Qian Qi, invincible in its mouth, laughed like a maniac. “HAHAHAHA—”
The owl immediately spit her out in disgust.
Qian Qi flew through the sky in a ridiculous arc and slammed into the plain outside the Black Forest with a heavy boom, leaving a shallow crater behind.
“Ow. My back,” she groaned, climbing out and dusting herself off. She pointed at the retreating owl like a scolding auntie. “Young birds have no manners. How do you waste food like that?”
Then, because she couldn’t help herself, she muttered, “Also, stop throwing things from the sky.”
She looked around and blinked. “Huh. This is close to where I came in, right?”
“Not far~” the System replied, suddenly generous after taking her money, and guided her back.
Half an hour later, Qian Qi returned to the spot where she’d first appeared—and finally asked the obvious question.
“…How do I get out?”
The panel practically sparkled with smugness. “Wow~ You finally noticed~ Only after you defeat the dungeon’s Boss will an exit appear~”
Qian Qi’s face turned into a living scream. “What?!”
“This is a scam,” she hissed. “Isn’t there another way?”
“There is,” the panel said, syrupy. “Find the dungeon’s space rift, and you can leave~ Friendly price: 100 yuan. ^_^”
Qian Qi’s hand twitched toward the transfer—then froze.
Space rift.
Magic creatures could escape through rifts into the human world.
Her expression hardened.
No. She couldn’t just leave.
Only after the Boss was defeated and the dungeon cleared would the rift be repaired and sealed. Only then would the magic creatures be trapped inside forever.
If she left now and the creatures found the rift, the first place to get wiped off the map would be Bright Orphanage.
And then it wouldn’t be a simple five hundred thousand. She’d be spending millions rebuilding everything.
Qian Qi refused to let that ticking bomb exist.
She patted the blue panel, grin turning wild. “Looks like I just saved myself a hundred yuan.”
Then she lifted her chin like she was marching to war. “Come on. Follow sister. We’re going to kill the Boss.”