Chapter 96

Chapter 96: You Can’t Want Only the Child and Not Me

Back then, Chun Zhi heard with her own ears that Huo Zheng had called her a country girl who was only a plaything. She became sure that if she stayed by his side, she would not be able to protect the baby. So even in a storm, she chose to jump into the river and leave him.

Now, Chun Zhi knows that Huo Zheng said those words to Huo Yu to protect her. With Song An Lan standing as her elder brother, she also has the courage to tell Huo Zheng everything.

Huo Zheng stood and walked to her, saying: “How could I ever force you to end the pregnancy? I had already planned to tell you my true identity and take you back to the capital.”

Chun Zhi answered: “But I never thought about leaving Linshui Town. I knew you would go sooner or later, and I only wanted a child.” [I only wanted a child.]

They had never thought the same way. Huo Zheng opened his mouth but, for a moment, had no words. It turned out that whether he was Huo Qi or Prince Chang’an, Chun Zhi had never pictured a future with him. She had always imagined a passing bond, meeting when fate brought them together and parting when fate ended. She wanted a child who would be hers alone.

Huo Zheng crouched in front of her and looked at her with dark, steady eyes, saying: “Chun Zhi, you can’t want only the child and not me.”

Chun Zhi looked at the face so close to hers and said: “That was what I thought before, but now I’ve realized something.”

He could not help asking: “Realized what?”

She lifted a hand and gently stroked his cheek, saying: “I actually like you very much.” [I do like him.]

If she had not liked him, she would not have pretended to marry him and ended up becoming his wife in truth. If she had not liked him, she would not have felt so safe whenever he was there. Those days together were joyful, and her feelings were real.

Huo Zheng held her hand to his face and said: “I know.” Back at the tofu workshop, the look in her eyes had never lied. Even if she kept silent, her feelings for him slipped out through her gaze.

Chun Zhi said: “I have always treated Song An Lan as an elder brother. There was never anything improper between us. When I told you the baby was his, I lied.”

He answered at once: “I know.” He had long known she was not a careless person. Their nights together had come from true feeling.

Chun Zhi lifted his hand and placed it on her rounded belly, saying: “Huo Zheng, the child in my belly is yours.”

He said softly: “I know.” With his palm against her belly, he could feel the little life inside. He knew everything; he was only waiting for her to let him near.

Chun Zhi drew him up and had him sit beside her. She said: “I’m telling you this not only because you found the Revival Blossom to save Song An Lan, but also because I’ve thought things through.”

Huo Zheng tightened his hold on her hand and asked: “You truly have?”

She hummed in reply, then said: “I can go back to the capital with you, but I have two conditions.”

He straightened and said: “Tell me.”

Chun Zhi said: “First, I will only be your wife, never a concubine.”

Huo Zheng said: “I already swore that. I will never go back on it.”

She added: “If you cannot marry me as your wife, or if someday your heart changes, then you must let me go, and the child will be mine.”

She was using all her courage to risk this once. She was ready for the possibility of being let down and losing everything. [Do not trust lightly, remember the pain.]

Huo Zheng said with deep seriousness: “Chun Zhi, I will never fail you.”

She answered quietly: “Just agree to these two things.”

Long ago, a young Lu Jing Yun had also said with a serious face, “Chun Zhi, I will not fail you.” And what happened then? Chun Zhi was someone who had been hurt before. Now, to step forward with Huo Zheng felt like staking everything. Song An Lan had said he would be her backing. Even so, handing her fate to a man was like a high-stakes gamble; she needed to keep a clear head and leave herself a way out.

Huo Zheng held her gaze for a long time, then nodded slowly and said: “All right, I promise you.” He wondered how much pain she had suffered and how many times she had been disappointed, that even while liking someone she was already preparing to be hurt. His heart ached for her even more.

After saying these things, Chun Zhi felt much lighter. Since meeting Huo Zheng again in Dongzhou, her heart had been in chaos; even in his arms she could not feel at ease. Now that they had talked, they sat together and drank tea.

Before long, Doctor Liang arrived with medicine prepared from the Revival Blossom and told Huo Zheng to take it. After he drank it, heat and chill chased each other through his body, and even his inner strength could not steady it. Afraid of disturbing Chun Zhi’s rest at night, he moved to the side room. Chun Zhi still worried and stayed there with Doctor Liang to watch over him.

At first Huo Zheng tried to act strong and told her not to worry, but as the medicine took hold he could not keep his eyes open and fell into a deep sleep. He sweated with cold sweat without stopping. Chun Zhi wiped him again and again, unable to sit still. With no other choice, Doctor Liang increased the dosage and used all three petals of the Revival Blossom on Huo Zheng.

He slept for two days and two nights in a row. Chun Zhi stayed by the bed the whole time, eating poorly and barely sleeping. Doctor Liang and Song Wan’er both urged her to rest. Chun Zhi simply could not leave him. On the morning of the third day, Huo Zheng woke safely.

He opened his eyes and the first person he saw was Chun Zhi. Reaching out to touch her face, he said: “Chun Zhi, why do you look so worn out?”

Chun Zhi did not answer. She just cupped his hand and rubbed her cheek against his palm, saying: “It’s enough that you woke up. How do you feel?”

His hand was no longer icy; there was a trace of warmth. It seemed the Revival Blossom worked well against the cold energy in his body.

Doctor Liang checked his pulse. Only after confirming nothing was wrong did he say: “She is a pregnant woman about to give birth. She kept watch over you for two days and nights. Of course she looks worn out.”

Huo Zheng lifted his eyes and asked: “You stayed here the last two days?”

Chun Zhi spoke quickly, saying: “I ate and I slept. It isn’t as bad as Doctor Liang says.”

Doctor Liang snorted and said: “Nibbling like a kitten counts as eating? Dozing for a moment counts as sleeping?”

Chun Zhi went quiet: “…”

Huo Zheng stroked her face and said: “I’m hungry. Have someone bring food.”

Chun Zhi answered at once: “All right,” and sent for the meal. Soon the maids carried in the dishes. Huo Zheng sat up and held Chun Zhi so they could eat together. Song Wan’er stopped by to see him; once she saw he was awake, she went with Doctor Liang to check on Song An Lan.

Huo Zheng had not eaten for two days, so he ate a great deal and even fed Chun Zhi several bites. Between the two of them, they nearly finished everything the maids had brought. When Chun Zhi set down her bowl and chopsticks, Huo Zheng asked: “Are you full?”

Chun Zhi nodded and said: “I’m full.”

Only then did he stand, lift her into his arms, and say: “I’ll carry you to sleep.”