Chapter 86

Chapter 86: I Won’t Go With You

Chun Zhi bowed slightly and said: “Thank you, Young Master Song, for not casting me aside. Chun Zhi is deeply grateful.”

During the past half year at Song Manor, she had envied Song Wan’er every day for having such a good elder brother. Song An Lan had saved her life and treated her with great kindness. When Chun Zhi agreed to marry him, it was not only to protect the Song Clan and Song Wan’er. It was also to ease his mind and repay his life-saving grace.

She spoke softly: “To be honest, I already thought of Young Master Song as my elder brother in my heart.”

Song An Lan replied in a warm voice: “If you have already taken me as your elder brother, then why do you still call me Young Master Song?”

Hearing this, Song Wan’er laughed and said: “Sister, you should change how you address him.”

Chun Zhi slowly changed her address and called out: “Elder brother.”

Song An Lan answered gently: “Chun Zhi sister.”

They looked at each other with smiles in their eyes.

Song Wan’er had felt sorry that Chun Zhi could not become her sister-in-law. Now that Chun Zhi had become her sister, this was also very good. She said happily: “I will tell the kitchen to make more good dishes. We will dine together tonight. This is worth celebrating. Elder brother, come back early.”

Song An Lan nodded and said: “I will return as soon as I finish my business.”

Chun Zhi said: “The wind outside is strong. Elder brother, put on another layer before you go.”

Song An Lan agreed, turned, and told the waiter to bring a cloak. After they chatted a bit more, the waiter quickly returned and helped him put it on. Song An Lan then left with the waiter.

Song Wan’er supported Chun Zhi on a slow walk around the garden, then brought her back to the small courtyard.

Sometime during this, Huo Zheng had returned. He was standing at the door waiting. Both Chun Zhi and Song Wan’er paused in surprise. Huo Zheng strode forward and reached out to steady Chun Zhi, so Song Wan’er let go.

Song Wan’er said to Chun Zhi: “I will order the kitchen to prepare a feast. Sister, go rest for a while. Do not forget we will eat together tonight.”

Chun Zhi said: “I will not forget.”

Song Wan’er turned and left.

Guiding her into the room, Huo Zheng asked in a low voice: “You plan to eat dinner with her?”

Chun Zhi said: “And with elder brother.”

“Elder brother?” Huo Zheng raised his brows slightly and asked: “When did you start calling Song An Lan elder brother?”

Stepping over the threshold, Chun Zhi said: “Just now.”

[Calling him elder brother is just right,] Huo Zheng thought. Now that Song An Lan was Chun Zhi’s elder brother, he could no longer compete with him for a wife.

Catching the faint lift of Huo Zheng’s lips out of the corner of her eye, Chun Zhi frowned and asked: “What are you smiling at?”

Pressing his mouth, Huo Zheng said: “Did I smile?”

Chun Zhi said: “You did.”

“I am happy for you,” Huo Zheng said. “Song An Lan is a good elder brother.”

If Song An Lan could treat Chun Zhi the way he treated Song Wan’er, then Huo Zheng would accept that elder brother.

Song An Lan had depth. He preferred open moves to dark tricks. Huo Zheng still remembered what Song An Lan had said earlier.

Chun Zhi glanced at Huo Zheng, walked to the window to sit down, and drew her hand back from his.

Huo Zheng poured a cup of hot tea and handed it to her, saying: “It is cold outside. Drink some hot tea to warm up.”

Chun Zhi accepted the cup and warmed her hands on it. She could not help asking: “When will you leave? As Prince Chang’an, do you not have proper duties to do?”

Huo Zheng looked at her and said: “You are my proper duty.”

[His eyes are like the deep sea. Every time I look at them, I feel I will be swallowed,] Chun Zhi thought. She lowered her gaze, took a small sip, and said in a quiet voice: “I will not go with you.”

It is said that once you enter a noble house, it is as deep as the sea. The Prince’s Manor and the Palace Gate are even deeper. Even if Huo Zheng would marry her now, he could not marry only her. Chun Zhi knew nothing of back-courtyard games or palace struggles. If she went to such a place, she might not be able to protect her own life or her child’s life. She did not dare to hope his feelings would never change. Liking is precious because it fades so quickly. It may be here today and gone tomorrow. She could not rest the rest of her life on something so brief.

“Chun Zhi,” Huo Zheng said softly, “I do not want to force you. Please do not keep me a thousand miles away, all right?”

Chun Zhi stayed quiet for a moment, set down the cup, and walked to the window, saying: “The fog is thick and the wind is strong. It will snow again.”

Nanzhou rarely had snow, though it rained a lot. She was used to the soft rains of Jiangnan. After more than half a year in Dongzhou, she still had not fully adapted to the climate here. The Capital lay to the north and was the opposite of Nanzhou in climate. The life of nobles and the life of common folk were also worlds apart.

What Chun Zhi wanted was very simple, and Huo Zheng never truly understood it. She wanted a plain and steady life. But Huo Zheng was born of the Imperial House. He was fated to be drawn into fights and to seek a path through power. He was used to competing, seizing chances, acting fast, and calculating in order to survive. Chun Zhi only wanted to live in a quiet corner, earn food with her own hands, and raise her child well.

The Golden Throne Hall and a thatched cottage were not the same road. If she truly had her way, Huo Zheng should stay in the Capital and be Prince Chang’an, instead of traveling all the way to Dongzhou to stay by one person like her.

A sudden cold wind rose outside. Chun Zhi stood by the window, her sash fluttering in the draft. Huo Zheng picked up a fox-fur shawl and draped it over her shoulders. Just as she had said, snow began to fall soon after. They stood together at the window, watching the snow drift down.

Back on Peach Blossom Lane, they had stood like this watching the rain. On those rainy nights, Huo Zheng and Chun Zhi had held each other as they slept. He had kissed her eyes and brows again and again. The joy of then was hard to relive now.

As the snow outside grew heavier, Chun Zhi worried that Song An Lan might catch a chill and make his illness worse. She immediately told the waiter to take a carriage with a lit brazier to bring him home. Seeing her so concerned for another man, Huo Zheng felt a sting of jealousy.

Dusk slowly deepened, and night came quickly.

Song Wan’er set a feast in the flower hall to celebrate that Chun Zhi and her elder brother had become siblings. Most dishes were ones she and Chun Zhi liked. She sent a maid early to invite Chun Zhi and ordered the maid to support her carefully so she would not slip.

Song Wan’er herself waited at the flower hall door. When Chun Zhi arrived, Huo Zheng came along with her. Song Wan’er opened her eyes wide and thought: [Prince Chang’an not only moved into Song Manor without an invitation, he also wants to eat with us. What is this?] She said nothing, but Huo Zheng read it in her face and gave a small nod, saying: “I came uninvited. Please forgive the disturbance.”

Song Wan’er opened her mouth, but no words came. He knew everything, yet still chose to come. What could she do? She could only guide Chun Zhi inside while quietly hoping Prince Chang’an would leave soon.

Inside the hall, Chun Zhi sat with Song Wan’er on her right and Huo Zheng on her left. Before long, Song An Lan returned and sat facing Chun Zhi.