Chapter 150

Chapter 150: I Really, Really Like You

Huo Zheng looked at Chun Zhi, his eyes dark as ink. A thousand words rushed to his lips, yet he did not know where to begin.

He was twenty?four when he met Chun Zhi and first learned the taste of love. They saw each other every day, and he thought their future would be long.

He never managed to say he liked her.

He wanted to keep Chun Zhi by his side, but he did not know in what place to settle her. He thought: [I want to keep her with me, but what place can I give her?]

Bound by strict rules since childhood and taught that a wife must match one’s rank, he turned the problem over and over and felt that no plan for Chun Zhi was proper.

Heaven gave him no time to figure it out.

Back then, Chun Zhi had never thought about a future with him.

Her decisive leap into the Lishui River completely shattered his calm.

It also broke the chains of rules and status.

From the day they bowed before a thatched hut and married, he had already taken Chun Zhi as his wife.

In those days and nights together, their feelings sprouted quietly and grew wild, until they were carved into his bones.

For more than half a year he searched from Jiangnan northward, walking every stretch of the riverbank.

He examined every body pulled from the Lishui River with his own eyes.

Everyone told him that in such a violent storm, a jump into the river meant certain death.

But he refused to believe it.

Chun Zhi was so full of life; she would not choose death so easily.

She jumped only to leave him, not to die.

Stubbornly, he searched for more than two hundred days and nights, and at last he found her trail in Dongzhou.

By then, he had long been missing her through the small things she left behind. The tofu workshop no longer held her scent. In that tiny courtyard he could only close his eyes and picture her washing vegetables, cooking, hanging clothes, and feeding the donkey.

He could not describe how mixed his feelings were when he saw Chun Zhi at the Song Clan wedding in Dongzhou. He only knew that she was alive and he had found her.

But Chun Zhi was going to marry someone else.

He had kept the rules for years and never stepped out of line, yet that day he used Song An Lan to threaten her and forced her to go with him.

Chun Zhi agreed.

Still, his heart did not rejoice.

Because she did not leave with him by choice; she did it for Song An Lan.

During that half year apart, he lived poorly, stubborn to the edge of madness.

In Dongzhou, Chun Zhi lived well. She seemed able to live well with anyone.

She could live just fine without anyone.

He kept Chun Zhi by his side for three days. At first he thought he must not let her leave his sight even half a step, that he would lock her up and make her learn the price of leaving him.

By the second day he was upset because she was unhappy.

By the third day he was begging in his heart for her to eat well, almost willing to kneel.

In just three days he surrendered.

If she wanted to return to Song Manor, he would let her return to Song Manor. She could do whatever she wished, as long as she would not abandon him again. [Please don’t leave me again.]

He had long known that Chun Zhi valued feelings. When she cared for you, she could give up everything; when she chose to cut ties, she was firm and decisive.

At that time, he had no way to win her back.

He climbed the icy mountain to find the Revival Blossom for Song An Lan and risked his life, all just to make Chun Zhi look at him one more time.

The cold invaded his body and injured him; in return he gained Chun Zhi’s care and her nod to go back to the capital with him.

He knew she only yielded because she did not know what else to do. [She agreed only because she had no other answer.]

Maybe when she agreed to marry him, she still thought: [If he finds someone new later, I will leave.]

So he went to Song Manor every day to see her, ate with her, helped her with the child, and promised that for his whole life he would have only one wife, her.

In the Imperial House, it was common to keep three or four wives and concubines. When he made such a promise, Chun Zhi was not very moved, because she did not believe it.

Huo Zheng was not someone who spoke grand vows or sweet words; he could only show her with his actions.

Whether she was a country girl or a merchant’s daughter, she was the wife he had chosen.

The one trapped by status and rules was Prince Chang’an.

The one who knew his true heart was Huo Zheng.

He did not want to marry a noble lady of a high house or a wife whose family could help him. He only wanted Chun Zhi, who had made him see the world’s beauty was right before his eyes.

Because he saved Song An Lan and worked hard to protect the Mu family when they returned to the capital, he could clearly feel Chun Zhi’s gratitude.

She no longer resisted when he came near or hugged her.

Even so, things between them were not like the simple warmth of the tofu workshop.

He knew he had hurt her heart. Though those cruel words had not been his true intent, the pain Chun Zhi felt was real.

He could only warm her chilled heart little by little.

One day, she would forget the hurt he caused and accept him again. [I will wait as long as it takes.]

He prepared himself for a very long wait.

But tonight, when he returned from outside the residence, a maid told him the Princess Consort had gone somewhere unknown. He sent people to search the entire residence and found nothing.

Only one place remained, a spot others were not allowed to approach.

He carried a lamp there himself and saw Chun Zhi sitting blankly in the room.

The chest under the bed had been pulled out, and the gold hidden in a bundle had been taken out.

Afraid she would see these things and remember her old sadness, he pulled her into his arms at once and said in a low, hoarse voice: “I have kept every single one of your things safe. I truly want to spend my whole life with you. Please don’t think about leaving me again, all right?”

Chun Zhi’s eyes reddened as she leaned on his shoulder, and for a moment she could not find a word to describe him: “Huo Zheng, how are you so…”

He had always known what she was thinking, but he had never spoken of it, until tonight.

On her wedding day, while her mother gave many instructions, she was still thinking: [If he later takes a new favorite and no longer cares for me, I can leave.]

But people are not plants without feelings.

Since returning to the capital, what he had done for her was clear to see.

In these days after the wedding, though he had many duties, he delayed them and stayed with her and Little Xing Hui.

Chun Zhi buried her face in his arms and, after a long moment, spoke in a low voice: “As long as you don’t change your heart, I will not leave.”

He hugged her tighter and asked: “Really?”

Chun Zhi gave a soft “mm.”

The lamp fell to the floor. The flame flared for an instant, then steadied.

He cupped her face and kissed her lips.

The kiss was full of longing and deep feeling.

Chun Zhi paused, then answered his warmth.

The lamp lay on the floor, its light jumping in the night breeze.

They kissed again and again, and in that moment their hearts understood each other.

He eased back a little, gaze dark as ink fixed on her lips, and said in a low, hoarse voice: “Chun Zhi, have I ever told you that I really, really like you?”