Chapter 162

Chapter 162: Foxy’s “Food”

Water rushed into the bathtub, filling it with steady white noise. Warmth slowly spread through the bathroom. Irene sat on the washing machine with her chin in her hands, bored out of her mind as she waited.

Yu Sheng tested the water, then turned the hot tap up a little more. This doll wasn’t afraid of scalding anyway.

“I want to use the shower too!” Irene suddenly shouted from behind him.

“Can you even reach it?” Yu Sheng glanced back. “It’s hard enough for you to hold the showerhead with both hands. To turn the valve, you’d need a step stool. Just behave and soak in the tub.

“And honestly, you can swim in there. Normal people don’t get that kind of bathing experience.”

“I didn’t choose to be this tall!” Irene snapped. “Then make me a body that’s one-sixty-seven!”

Yu Sheng didn’t respond. He was long past being surprised by Irene’s endless complaints.

Irene didn’t care whether he answered. She immediately launched into her next demand: “Then get me a smaller showerhead, like the kind for little kids. And install an extra valve near the floor. Put a whole setup in the shower stall for me. It’s not even expensive…”

“One day, one day,” Yu Sheng said, brushing her off as he stood. “The water’s ready. Get in. I hung your towel on the wall.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Irene waved impatiently, jumped down, then struggled up to the rim of the tub. “I’m bathing now. Get out, get out—”

Yu Sheng flicked her forehead and left the bathroom.

He heard water running in the kitchen and found Foxy cleaning up. She’d already dealt with the aftermath of Irene’s disaster and was now scrubbing the burned spatula in the sink.

Seeing that, Yu Sheng felt genuinely comforted. Thank goodness the house didn’t only have Irene, a professional troublemaker. At least there was one honest child who could help—

Then Foxy glanced at him, quickly wiped her hands on her tail, and presented a bowl like she was offering up treasure. “Benefactor, here. For you.”

Yu Sheng blanked. He looked down at the bowl. He couldn’t even tell what the lump of… something… was supposed to be.

He forced himself to look back up. “…What is this?”

“Even though Irene’s dish got burned, I already cooked the rice!” Foxy said, beaming. “Try it, try it…”

Yu Sheng’s warm feelings hadn’t even faded yet, and now his brain stalled. After two seconds, he looked down again.

This time he made himself connect that mass to the concept of food. Awe erupted in his mind like a geyser.

“This is rice you cooked?!” He took a half-step back on instinct, as if the thing might sprout eyes and tentacles if he stared too hard. “What did you even boil in there?”

He still remembered the lightning-quick glimpse of the pot: a thick soup in an unnatural color, packed with lumps of every kind—vegetables that looked like they died with unfinished business, meat chunks that looked like they died with unfinished business, and who-knew-what that looked like it died with unfinished business, all bobbing up and down. Even from a meter away, he could feel resentment rising from it, like the ingredients were still screaming in protest.

Foxy didn’t see a problem at all. She even explained, perfectly calm, “Just all kinds of things I like to eat.”

Yu Sheng processed that.

She’d boiled every single thing she liked.

The problem was, she liked to eat everything. If nobody stopped her, she’d probably taste the packaging just to see if it was salty.

While he was still thinking, Foxy had already carried her “everything in one pot” to the dining room. She happily served two bowls, then turned back and stared at Yu Sheng with eager anticipation.

Yu Sheng discovered, for the first time, that the innocent, expectant look of a “Silly Fox” could be absolutely terrifying.

He forced himself to walk over. After choking on his words for a moment, he managed half a sentence. “Actually, I’m not—”

He couldn’t finish.

Foxy was still staring, cheerful and patient, waiting for praise.

Yu Sheng sat down with a numb expression. After wrestling with himself, he finally gritted his teeth. It was all made from ingredients in his own kitchen. No matter how bad it looked, it shouldn’t kill him. And this was Foxy’s first time cooking for him. The dish might not score high on anyone’s sanity meter, but her sincerity was off the charts.

Fine. He’d gamble once.

If he still had consciousness afterward, he would have to talk to Foxy properly. At minimum, she needed to learn the basics—normal cooking order—before attempting a “feast” at this level of difficulty.

With those thoughts bouncing around in his head, Yu Sheng took a breath, scooped up a spoonful, and put it in his mouth.

Then he froze.

Foxy watched him, eyes bright with anticipation. “Benefactor, how is it? Mother taught me this. It’s just that the ingredients here are different, so I improvised a little based on my own understanding…”

Yu Sheng still didn’t speak, because his mind was full of shock.

This thing… didn’t taste that bad?

Of course it wasn’t delicious. It was just… strange. The gap was impossible to describe. It was like looking at a disaster and being sure you were doomed, then taking one bite and blurting, “Wait—what?”

It was human food.

If you closed your eyes while eating, it even felt like food.

“It’s… pretty good?” Yu Sheng took another bite, then hesitated under her hopeful gaze. “The flavor is really novel. I’ve never had anything like it, but I think it’s okay.”

As he spoke, he slowly got used to ignoring the ever-shifting colors in the bowl and the rolling lumps. He even started to taste something like a real flavor.

Foxy’s smile widened instantly. It wasn’t a huge compliment, but she clearly took it as approval worth celebrating. Then she turned around, rummaged in her tail, and pulled out two fluffy chicklings. She set them on the table, served a little of the solid bits into a small bowl, and pushed it toward them. “You eat too~”

Yu Sheng stared. “…Can they eat this? You’re feeding them that?”

“They should be able to,” Foxy said casually. “That’s how we fed the mystic plume sparrow at home.”

Something felt off to Yu Sheng, but before he could speak, the two chicklings had already started eating. Huddled together, they chirped as they pecked, sounding downright delighted.

They seemed fine.

Yu Sheng decided, for once, not to say anything. He lowered his head and kept eating.

Foxy looked pleased and continued eating too.

She’d actually been a little worried—worried that what she made, based on a decades-old method in her memories, would be a total failure. The ingredients were strange, the tools were strange, the environment was strange, and even the finished product… looked strange.

After Mother cooked, what came out of the oven were golden little balls. But for some reason, what Foxy made here became a pot of soup.

But luckily, Benefactor seemed to like it.

Bai Qie and Yan Ju liked it too.

After the meal, Yu Sheng patted his stomach and let out a satisfied burp. Maybe because he’d dozed off earlier, he felt full of energy now.

The two chicklings wandered around the tabletop, digesting. Sometimes they stopped at the edge and looked up at Yu Sheng, then at Foxy. When they got happy, they chirped twice, relaxed and content.

With a flick of Foxy’s hand, they scurried over obediently and vanished into her tail.

“Irene still hasn’t finished washing?” Yu Sheng looked toward the bathroom. “She didn’t drown in the tub, did she…”

The moment he said it, Irene yelled from the living room, where the TV was on. “You’re the one who drowned! I’m drying my hair! My hair is long—you know that!”

Yu Sheng blinked and turned his head. “What the hell, I forgot there’s still a you in the living room. Why didn’t you come eat today?”

The Irene from the living room wandered in and leaned against the dining room doorway, rolling her eyes. “I took one look from far away and decided that thing doesn’t count as food.”

“It actually tastes okay…” Yu Sheng muttered.

Then he watched Irene drag a little stool to the bathroom door, climb up, and yank the handle hard. The door swung open.

The other Irene padded out, a towel wrapped around her, hair still damp. She carried her black dress in her arms and went straight to the table. “Yu Sheng, I’m done washing!”

“…Sometimes I still can’t get used to there being two of you in the house,” Yu Sheng muttered. His gaze dropped to the dress. “What happened to your outfit?”

“It burned holes. Help me patch it…”

“Isn’t that mimicry clothing you made?” Yu Sheng stared. “Can’t you just change it back?”

“Once mimicry is done, it becomes normal clothes,” Irene said, completely matter-of-fact. “Do you have any common sense?”

Yu Sheng stared at her in silence.

Is that common sense humans are supposed to have?

He sighed and took the dress. “Fine. Give it to me… but I’m warning you, you know my skill level. Once I patch it, it’ll probably be… like that. Later I’ll go to the mall and buy you a couple new ones. Doll shops have clothes for one-third-scale dolls. They should have your size.”

“Okay, okay! You finally want to buy me stuff!” Irene brightened instantly, then ran back into the bathroom. She returned holding a hair dryer. “Dry my hair!”

Yu Sheng closed his eyes for a moment. “…I really owe you.”