Chapter 082
Chapter 82: I Don’t Want to Be a Concubine
In Auspicious Cloud Residence, the candles had already gone out.
Xiao Man was so tired that even her bones felt sore, and after she finished a warm bowl of almond custard, she felt heat spread through her body until everything inside was relaxed and calm.
Her head touched the pillow, and she fell into a sweet, dark sleep at once.
It had been a long time since she had dreamed.
This time, she sank again into that familiar, hazy fog.
The mist thinned, and there stood the same giant tree that took several people to encircle, its branches thick and full, blocking out the sky.
Only this time the dream was unusually quiet.
There were no strange sounds like last time that could make a person blush, and there were no two Joyous Buddha statues locked together.
Everything was so clean it felt almost too pure.
Under the tree stood a person.
Lin Qing Xuan.
He wore white that looked untouched by dust, his black hair like a waterfall, bound only with a plain wooden hairpin.
A cool, moonlike glow wrapped around him, giving him the air of a banished immortal.
He saw her, and the coldness in his eyes softened at once.
He reached out to her, his thin lips parting, his voice clear and smooth like jade striking jade: “Xiao Man.”
Without thinking, Xiao Man walked to him.
Her hand was wrapped in his warm palm, and that warmth traveled from her skin straight to her heart.
He led her to sit on the thick roots of the tree.
Then he took her other hand, lowered his lashes, and looked at her slightly red fingertips.
She had been splashed by hot oil while making fried pastries earlier that day, and a faint redness still showed.
The pads of his fingers, light and callused, brushed that pink skin with great care as he asked, “Does it hurt? I can feel the burning on your fingertip.”
His voice held pity.
That question lit Xiao Man like a spark.
She jerked her hand back and grumbled, her mouth quick with anger: “This cursed Shared Dream and Sense!”
She tossed out his title and called him by name, snapping, “Lin Qing Xuan!”
Her words came fast and fierce as she demanded: “Explain this. Why can you stroll into my dreams whenever you want? Why can you share my feelings? You knew I burned my hand, and you can even hear what I think. What is this, really? Tell me the reason and make it clear!”
She was like a small animal showing teeth and claws, throwing every question at him all at once.
She had already accepted being a modern person who transmigrated, and now she was supposed to accept this Shared Dream and Sense, and even that her thoughts were being heard without a trace.
Lin Qing Xuan heard her call his name and, instead of anger, a tiny ripple of secret joy moved in his eyes.
He stayed silent for a moment, his thick lashes dropping.
He said softly, “I do not know.”
The honest answer made her breath choke in her chest.
She glared at him and said, “You don’t know? Then go find out and tell me.”
She folded her arms and eyed him with doubt as she asked: “Then why Dreamwalking today?”
He finally lifted his gaze, and those usually calm, cold eyes were full of focus as he said, “I wanted to talk to you. But you keep hiding from me.”
There was a hint of grievance in his tone.
Hearing that, Xiao Man only burned hotter.
She gave a short hum and rolled her eyes as she shot back, “Hiding from you? Do you really not know why? You punish me with Sutra Copying every day, hundreds of times. Who could stand that? My hand is about to fall off!”
His voice turned rough and low, like it had been rubbed by sand, as he said, “I only wanted you closer to me, closer still.”
Before his words faded, he tightened his grip on her wrist and pulled. She left the root and was tugged right against him.
His other arm slid around her waist and locked her in his hold.
All the distance between them vanished in an instant.
Xiao Man’s nose almost bumped his solid chest, and the clean sandalwood scent on him filled her breath with force.
Her face flushed hot.
She pressed both hands to his chest and pushed as she scolded, “Hey! Use words. Don’t use your hands.”
She tipped up her chin and glared at him, saying, “You Buddha’s Chosen, why do you pick up bad habits the moment you get into a dream? When you lose an argument, you try forced love, is that it?”
Her bold words made the tips of his ears go red at once.
He turned his face a little, flustered, and stammered, “I… I actually…”
He “I’d” for half a day and could not finish a sentence.
Looking at his pure and helpless look, Xiao Man’s anger melted.
How could she not understand what he wanted?
He was like a young man who had just had his first taste, full of hot blood and hungry for more.
With these things, there is only a first time and then countless times.
He chanted sutras with his mouth, but his body was very honest.
A quick idea flashed through her mind, and a bold move took shape.
She stopped struggling, turned in his arms so that she faced him, and took the lead.
Then she lifted both hands and held that infuriatingly handsome face.
She moved fast and sure, not letting him refuse.
Lin Qing Xuan froze. His body went stiff, letting her guide him.
She made him bend so he looked right into her eyes.
She studied him carefully, from his cool brows, to his straight nose, to those peach blossom eyes that now held shock.
She clicked her tongue twice and said with open praise and a hint of teasing, “You really are good looking.”
She added, her voice light but honest, “I can’t help liking you.”
She paused, and the playful look on her face vanished. She grew serious and firm in a way she had never been before as she said, clear and steady: “But I don’t want to be a concubine, do you understand?”
Her words struck his calm heart like thunder out of a clear sky.
Lin Qing Xuan went still.
Born in a grand house, raised among the powerful, he had seen the hard lives and bitterness of back-courtyard women since he was young.
How could he not know?
But he had never thought it through.
Every word of “I don’t want to be a concubine” turned into a sharp blade that cut open his chest and showed him his most selfish thought.
That line branded all his tender feelings for her, all his racing heart, with the mark of selfishness.
He was full of her, eager for her closeness, happy with her company, even greedy for the joy of entangling with her in dreams.
Yet he had never stopped to think about what she wanted or where her road should lead.
He only thought of keeping her by his side, without deciding what place he would give her or what name she would bear.
That was a fault.
It was a sin.
It was the ugliest kind of selfishness born from desire.
His hand at her waist loosened without him knowing.
Xiao Man also lowered her hands from his face.
They sat under the giant tree without speaking, each lost in a jumble of thoughts.
Even the wind in the dream turned bleak.
At the same time, in the real Auspicious Cloud Residence, inside Xiao Man’s bedroom, the black cat Tuan Tuan crouched on the windowsill with lazy grace. Its golden eyes glowed in the dark as it stared at the sleeping Xiao Man without blinking. It stuck out a pink tongue and slowly licked a paw.
[Don’t want to be a concubine?]
A lazy, faintly scornful voice sounded in its mind.
[Then be the main Madam. Why think so hard? You fussy mortals love to make your own trouble.]
It shifted, propped its chin on its front paws, and watched with clear disdain in its golden eyes.
[That silly Buddha’s Chosen missed such a great chance to get close. Tsk. My tasty food made of love and desire is off the menu tonight.]
[So boring.]