Chapter 15
Chapter 15: Dragons Are the Best Tonic—If I Bury His Corpse Under My Roots, I’ll Be in Heaven
“Me? Present flowers to His Highness Chong Ming?”
Jiang Tea Tea stared at the horned boy like he’d grown a second head. “Do I know him? Am I close to him? And you want me to go hand him flowers?”
As a tree demon, this was basically being told to pluck flowers right in the middle of their love life, bundle them up, tie them with a bow, and present them to a beastfolk like a sweet little gift.
If word ever got back to the demon realm, those gossip-hungry demons would laugh her into the ground. Where was she supposed to put her face?
“Jiang Tea Tea,” the horned boy said, genuinely stunned, “you’re refusing to present flowers to His Highness?”
“Of course I’m refusing,” Jiang Tea Tea snapped. “I’m not close to him—”
“She’ll do it.”
Huang Da Zhuang and Lu Ling Er both jumped in at once, faces full of apology.
“Chief Xing Qi—wait, wait!” Huang Da Zhuang blurted. “She’s still mad at her sister. Her brain hasn’t caught up yet. Give us a second. We’ll talk to her.”
“Yeah, Chief Xing Qi,” Lu Ling Er added too fast. “We’ll talk her into it.”
They each grabbed an arm and dragged Jiang Tea Tea away.
Jiang Tea Tea yanked free. “If you’ve got something to say, say it. Stop dragging me.”
Huang Da Zhuang looked like he was about to drop to his knees. “Sis. Sister Tea. Have you been so pissed your brain broke? You don’t know His Highness Chong Ming, and you’re refusing to give him flowers?”
Lu Ling Er nodded so hard her head was about to come off. “Yes! Jiang Tea Tea, did a cannon hit you? You’re refusing to give my husband flowers!”
Jiang Tea Tea stared at her. “Your husband? Then you go give him flowers. Why should I do it? What leaf am I supposed to be in this mess?”
Huang Da Zhuang and Lu Ling Er exchanged a look. Then, in perfect sync, they pressed a hand to Jiang Tea Tea’s forehead, then to their own.
They stared at each other, baffled.
“She doesn’t have a fever,” Huang Da Zhuang whispered. “So how can she not know His Highness Chong Ming?”
Lu Ling Er hissed like she was stating a universal law. “His Highness Chong Ming is my husband and your husband too.”
She widened her eyes at Jiang Tea Tea, offended by the very concept of ignorance. “He’s everyone’s husband! The shared husband of all unmarried women and men! How do you not know that?”
Jiang Tea Tea just stared.
This Chong Ming really knew how to play, huh. Men and women alike.
Damn.
“Okay,” Huang Da Zhuang declared, like he was delivering a verdict. “She really did short-circuit from being pissed off by Jiang Yi Zhu.”
He rounded on Lu Ling Er, righteous as a judge. “Look what you people did to her! You drove a perfectly normal person into this!”
Lu Ling Er flushed and gave an awkward laugh. “It’s not entirely my fault. Before, Jiang Tea Tea wouldn’t even fart if you poked her eight times. Jiang Yi Zhu said whatever she wanted, and Jiang Tea Tea never refuted it.”
“For normal people, if you don’t refute, it means you admitted it. She admitted it, so I thought she was easy to bully.”
Her expression shifted, uncharacteristically sincere. “But now I know I was wrong. I won’t bully her anymore, and I won’t let anyone else bully her either.”
Jiang Tea Tea patted Lu Ling Er’s shoulder with solemn approval. “Knowing your mistakes and fixing them is the greatest good. Keep working hard. I believe in you.”
Huang Da Zhuang stared at Jiang Tea Tea with pure sympathy.
Look what they’d bullied her into. She was praising Lu Ling Er now.
Lu Ling Er brushed Jiang Tea Tea’s hand away like it burned. “Thanks for believing in me. Tomorrow, remember to go welcome His Highness Chong Ming. It’s decided. I’m going to tell Chief Xing Qi.”
She bolted.
“Hey—!” Jiang Tea Tea reached out too late. “I didn’t agree! You can’t decide for me—”
Huang Da Zhuang pressed her hand down and said gravely, “She can decide for you, Sister Tea. As a powerless human, being chosen to present flowers to His Highness Chong Ming is a blessing earned over eight lifetimes.”
“After tomorrow,” he added, dreamy with certainty, “the entire Royal Military Academy will know you. And they’ll envy you.”
Jiang Tea Tea snorted. “Why would I want people to envy me? I’ve never even spoken to Chong Ming. I’m not close to him.”
Huang Da Zhuang blinked, then brightened. “Oh! You mean you’ve never talked to him.”
He looked relieved. “That’s fine. I haven’t talked to him either. Come, come—look at his photo.”
He shoved his lightbrain toward her.
“Sister Tea, look. That’s our Supreme Commander of the Imperial Armed Forces and the Prince Regent—His Highness Chong Ming. My idol. Handsome, right? Cool, right?”
Jiang Tea Tea leaned in.
Her eyes widened. “Holy shit. That’s a huge, fat, short-legged, glittering golden dragon.”
The photo showed a dragon with a ridge of spines down its back, a mane at its neck, horns, claws, scales—everything. One single radiant color: gold.
By Jiang Tea Tea’s estimate, the body was somewhere between one hundred eighty and two hundred thirty meters long.
She hadn’t expected that in this barren interstellar age she’d still run into a creature straight out of legend—dragons who once held posts in the heaven realm, calling wind and rain with a flick of a claw.
No wonder the fake heiress’s memories only held a name. An empire leader who was a golden dragon beastfolk sat at the top of the food chain, far beyond the reach of ordinary people. Knowing his name didn’t mean you’d ever get anywhere near him.
“What do you mean fat?” Huang Da Zhuang snapped instantly, offended on behalf of his idol. “What do you mean short-legged? Those claws are powerful. Majestic!”
He leaned in, eyes blazing with devotion. “I’m telling you, His Highness Chong Ming is one hundred fifty years old. Among beastfolk, he’s the beastfolk. Among males, he’s the male. King of kings. Nobody compares.”
Jiang Tea Tea hummed. “A one hundred fifty-year-old golden dragon… just a young cub.”
Huang Da Zhuang glared at her like she’d committed blasphemy. “Jiang Tea Tea, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? Trying to show off? I want to present flowers too and I don’t even get the chance. Being a random welcome greeter is already ancestral smoke rising—and you’re still provoking me?”
Jiang Tea Tea lifted a finger. “Who says you don’t get a chance? We’re both in the welcome lineup, right?”
“When the time comes, I’ll hand you the flowers. We’ll switch. You can be the one who presents them.”
Huang Da Zhuang’s eyes went huge. His voice turned small with hope. “That… works?”
Jiang Tea Tea shrugged. “Why wouldn’t it?”
His heart practically thudded out of his chest. “It should work.”
Jiang Tea Tea nodded briskly. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Huang Da Zhuang spread his arms, trying to hug her. “Love you—”
Jiang Tea Tea stepped aside in one smooth motion. “Scram.”
He hugged air and grinned shamelessly. “I won’t!”
Jiang Tea Tea sighed, then asked, “That guy who came to notify us—Chief Xing Qi—who is he?”
Huang Da Zhuang sobered immediately. “One of the twin chiefs of the first-year Combat Department. He’s from the yellow dragon clan. Name’s Chong Xing Qi. He’s eighteen, and he’s got a 2S-rank electric-type ability.”
Jiang Tea Tea blinked. “So he’s a little yellow dragon?”
So the Zhen Lin Empire didn’t only have golden dragons. There were other colors too.
And those horn buds on his forehead… those were undeveloped dragon horns.
According to Jiang Tea Tea’s personal menu, dragons were pure yang. If she could kill one and bury the corpse under her roots, it would feel better than eating a hundred self-sacrificing humans.
Huang Da Zhuang nodded rapidly. “Yeah! His beast form is a little yellow dragon with a white belly. He’s from the yellow dragon family.”
“And the other chief of the first-year Combat Department,” Huang Da Zhuang continued, dropping his voice like he was sharing gossip with the gods, “is Sui Xuan Chu. Also a dragon. His beast form is red-black. He’s seventeen, lightning-type 2S-rank.”
“He can solo basically every chief from first year and second year across departments. But he’s arrogant, keeps to himself, and the second he doesn’t like something, he goes straight to violence.”