Chapter 386: Drama King, Dumb AI, and Mr. Unlucky
This novel is translated and hosted only on bcatranslation
“You know, this AI of yours… it’s pretty dumb.”
In Donghai City, at the Cyber Technology Division of the National Security Bureau, a man with a scruffy beard and thick round glasses was scrolling through lines of code on Lin Xian’s laptop.
“Why bother with this thing? You could download an open-source AI from the internet. Even a basic mobile AI would be a hundred times smarter than this one.”
Two hours earlier, after failing to revive VV in the wilderness, Lin Xian decided it was time to get help from a professional. One of his teammates from the world hacker competition in the US was a top AI expert in X Country, now working at the National Security Bureau in Donghai City. Lin Xian contacted him and brought his laptop to the bureau for a consultation.
The bearded man frowned more and more as he looked at VV’s code.
“This AI of yours… It looks like a college student’s homework. The logic might be okay, but it’s pretty much useless and really dumb.”
Lin Xian was taken aback by his AI being called “dumb” so many times. “Is it really that bad? I thought the code was quite advanced.”
VV’s original code had been painstakingly memorized and transcribed by Lin Xian from his third dream, character by character. It was supposed to be the pinnacle of human scientific achievement. How could it be described as completely worthless?
“How dumb are we talking?” Lin Xian asked. “As dumb as a Tmall Genie?”
The bearded man shook his head. “Worse. A Tmall Genie can understand basic commands like playing music, setting an alarm, or looking up information. But this AI of yours, you have to talk to it like a robot. If you miss a word or speak a bit too fast, it won’t understand anything.”
He turned to the laptop and spoke loudly, “VV, play a random song.”
“Sorry,” the laptop responded in a monotone, “No song named ‘random’ found.”
The bearded man chuckled, turned around, and spread his hands at Lin Xian. “See? This thing is useless. How could it compete with a Tmall Genie? It doesn’t even have basic logic. Where did you get this from?”
“Uh… A classmate gave it to me,” Lin Xian quickly lied. “Is there any reason why a highly intelligent AI would turn into this… mess?”
“That’s impossible,” the bearded man replied, shaking his head. “Computer programs don’t randomly get dumber. They either stay the same or get better with improvements. No way an AI becomes dumber on its own without someone messing with it.”
“I looked through your AI’s source code. There’s nothing good about it, and it’s nearly impossible to modify… It’s what we call ‘spaghetti code.’ You know what that means? A mess of convoluted, pointless, and buggy code that somehow still runs. The best thing to do is leave it untouched. Change a single letter, and the whole thing could collapse.”
Lin Xian straightened up, staring at the laptop in frustration. He still hoped to salvage it somehow. “So, you’re saying this AI is beyond saving? But it’s important to me. Even if it’s dumb, I don’t want to just throw it away.”
“Given how ‘dumb’ it is now, is there anything useful it can still do? It can’t even handle basic communication—are there any other functions it could serve?”
The bearded man was silent for a moment. He rubbed his stubbly chin, thinking for a while before replying, “If you really want to use it, forget about its communication capabilities. It’s terrible at that. But the AI’s logic isn’t too bad. It could be used in simple household appliances, where the logic is straightforward.”
“Like what?” He looked around and spotted an unopened robotic vacuum cleaner on a shelf in the office. “You could use this AI to drive a robotic vacuum cleaner. The logic is simple, and it doesn’t need to communicate—just follow a set program to clean the floor.”
A robotic vacuum cleaner? Lin Xian remembered the trash-can robot VV from his third dream and the appliances VV used to possess in his own home—a refrigerator and a vacuum cleaner. Was this fate? Was VV always meant to be a trash collector?
Regardless, Lin Xian didn’t want to leave VV trapped in a powerless laptop, even if it had become “dumb” for some unknown reason—maybe due to a virus that damaged its brain? Whatever the cause, Lin Xian still saw VV as a good friend and hoped it could live on.
“Well…” Lin Xian scratched his head. “How about I buy a robotic vacuum cleaner, and you help me transfer VV’s program into it? A vacuum cleaner just needs to clean up trash; it doesn’t have to be smart.”
“Why buy one? I’ll give you this vacuum cleaner,” the bearded man said, grabbing the box from the shelf and placing it on the table. “This isn’t anything fancy. I don’t even remember what I bought to get this as a freebie. I don’t need it, and I don’t like vacuum cleaners anyway. Since you want it, I’ll just give it to you and help you transfer the AI.”
The bearded man quickly unpacked the vacuum cleaner, connected it to the laptop, and, after about ten minutes of furious typing, successfully transferred VV’s program.
He placed the robotic vacuum cleaner on the floor and nudged it forward. “All done. Your AI is now inside this vacuum cleaner. It will clean the room following the logic and set program.”
Lin Xian nodded and called out to the vacuum cleaner, “VV, start cleaning.”
However… there was no response.
The bearded man wagged his finger. “Didn’t I just say? Don’t expect this vacuum cleaner to respond to voice commands. If you want to control it, use the mobile app. It’s now connected to the network, so you can control it remotely, even if you’re not at home.”
“It’s useless to try direct communication. This level of intelligence can’t handle it. But it’s pretty good at cleaning and finding trash. Watch this.”
He crumpled a tissue and tossed it on the floor.
“Trash! Trash! Found trash!” The vacuum cleaner rolled over to the tissue with a loud rumble, gobbled it up like a hungry snake, and then stood still, as if it were dead.
Lin Xian squinted at it, puzzled. “Hey, this vacuum cleaner is kind of noisy… Does it have to shout every time it finds trash?”
The bearded man laughed. “You think I programmed that line? I told you, I didn’t touch your AI’s code at all. I just moved it over. That annoying phrase is probably the vacuum cleaner’s default setting. Want me to see if I can delete it?”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Lin Xian chuckled. “At least it’s some kind of interaction.”
After that, Lin Xian packed the vacuum cleaner VV back into its box and took a car back to the Rhine Company building.
Once in his office, he took the vacuum cleaner out of the box and stared at it suspiciously. Something was off. Way off. No vacuum cleaner on the market would have such a dumb alert sound unless the company wanted to go bankrupt or the designer was trying to spite their boss. It was too dumb—beyond dumb.
Back in the third dream, when Lin Xian first encountered the trash-can robot that locked his ankle, even his good temper was tested. The reason was this unbearable voice line.
Lin Xian tore off half a sheet of paper from his notebook, crumpled it up, and tossed it further away.
“Trash! Trash! Found trash!” The vacuum cleaner VV hopped to it like a rabbit, swallowed the paper, and stood still as if it had died again.
So, VV had two major problems:
First, its code had changed. Although Lin Xian didn’t fully understand code, he had spent months transcribing VV from the third dream, line by line. He could sense that VV’s code was elegant and beautiful. He couldn’t explain why, but it flowed like poetry.
Yet, in the bearded man’s eyes, it was “spaghetti code”—a student’s homework with no redeeming qualities. Who could have altered VV’s code? It couldn’t have been the super virus from the future, could it?
Definitely not. That virus aimed to destroy VV and was incredibly powerful, far beyond VV’s ability to resist. In such a one-sided battle, the virus could have easily wiped VV out. Why waste effort turning it into a dumb AI?
Moreover, Lin Xian knew that since he brought the laptop back from the US, it had been out of power and untouched. So, in theory, no one could have tampered with VV’s code except VV itself!
Second, the phrase “Trash! Trash! Found trash!” was straight out of the third dream’s trash-can robot VV. He had told VV about the events of the third dream in detail to help it understand its origins, including Zhao Ying Jun’s past, the annoying trash-can robot, and the passwords. VV’s response was, “Even if you tell me all this, it doesn’t resonate with me. What you’re describing isn’t my experience at all—whether it’s Sky City, Zhao Ying Jun, or that trash-can robot. To me, it’s like listening to a story. If you insist I’m Zhao Ying Jun’s dog… honestly, I’d rather be Chu An Qing’s dog!”
That heartless comment aside, the line “Trash! Trash! Found trash!” kept bugging Lin Xian.
He crumpled another piece of paper and tossed it farther away.
The vacuum cleaner pounced like a rabbit again: “Trash! Trash! Found trash!”
It did the familiar swallowing action and stopped.
“Heh.” Lin Xian snorted, staring at the vacuum cleaner from a distance. “Are you still putting on an act? Trying to keep this up until the Oscars?”
Still, there was no reaction.
Now Lin Xian was starting to doubt himself. “Forget it, forget it,” he thought. “If VV is really acting, there must be a reason, and nothing I say will make it admit anything. If it’s not acting and really is brain-damaged by a virus, then shouting more won’t help.”
Either way, even if VV was now a brain-damaged, shrunken, barely-functioning vacuum cleaner, it was still his old friend and comrade. As long as a comrade comes back alive, who cares about its disabilities?
“Hmm?” Suddenly, Lin Xian got an idea. He picked up the vacuum cleaner, put it back in its box, and patted it. “VV, since you’ve become a dummy, I’ll send you somewhere you belong. Maybe you’ll figure out whose dog you really are after some time together.”
With that, he grabbed the box, went downstairs, and headed for the MX Company building across the street.
He hadn’t been there in a while. His former colleagues greeted him warmly as he walked in.
“Hey, Boss Lin Xian! Long time no see! Finally decided to come back and visit us, huh?”
“Here to see Boss Zhao Ying Jun? She’s on the 22nd floor today; you can go right up.”
“What’s in the box… a vacuum cleaner? You sure know how to pick gifts! Boss Zhao Ying Jun could use one of these in her office!”
After some small talk, Lin Xian took the elevator to Zhao Ying Jun’s office on the 22nd floor. The last time he was here was almost a year ago. Back then, he had come to hand in his resignation. Instead, he ended up accepting Zhao Ying Jun and Chu Shan He’s investment to start his own Rhine Company. That’s when the wheels of fate started turning.
Knock, knock, knock.
Lin Xian knocked on the door. After a moment, Zhao Ying Jun’s slightly surprised voice came through the intercom, “Lin Xian? What are you doing here?”
She unlocked the door, and the heavy double doors swung open. When Lin Xian walked in, Zhao Ying Jun looked up. “You know my office password, don’t you? You didn’t forget it after all this time, did you?”
“Of course not,” Lin Xian replied, walking towards her desk. “I didn’t want to interrupt your work, so I knocked first. I also thought you might be in a meeting or something.”
“There’s no such thing as interrupting.” Zhao Ying Jun put down her pen and sat up straight in her chair. “Next time you come, just use the password to get in. I’m always available for you.”
She then noticed the package Lin Xian was carrying. “It’s rare to see you these days… Is there something you need?”
“I brought you a little something,” Lin Xian smiled, pointing to the vacuum cleaner in the box. “Do you remember a while back when I was learning AI and computer programming?”
Zhao Ying Jun nodded. “That must have been almost a year ago. I remember once visiting your office and seeing computer science books all over your desk. You said you were interested in AI and wanted to study it.”
“Exactly.” Lin Xian opened the box, took out the vacuum cleaner, and gave it a shake. “After that, I started working on some stuff and wrote some programs. They’re all pretty basic, but they’re good enough to run a vacuum cleaner.”
He put the vacuum cleaner on the floor and rolled a paper ball from the coffee table to the side of Zhao Ying Jun’s desk.
“Trash! Trash! Found trash!” The vacuum cleaner shouted loudly as it sped towards the paper ball with full power, spinning its brushes, gobbling the paper up, and then standing still.
“So, what do you think?” Lin Xian looked up at Zhao Ying Jun. “Pretty smart, right?”
“…” Zhao Ying Jun was speechless.
There were too many things to criticize; she didn’t even know where to start. After organizing her thoughts, she said slowly, “Well, considering you taught yourself programming from scratch, making something to control a vacuum cleaner is quite impressive.”
“But… have you ever used a vacuum cleaner before? They’re not supposed to move that fast. Slow and steady gets things cleaner. And… does it have to shout like that? Is there a silent mode?”
“A vacuum cleaner should probably be silent by default, right? Why does it need to announce every piece of trash it picks up?”
It was clear Zhao Ying Jun didn’t quite understand the logic behind this vacuum cleaner’s design.
“Uh… Think of it as a unique interactive feature,” Lin Xian explained. “Most people don’t just throw stuff on the floor all day, so unless you’re interacting with it on purpose, it won’t be this loud. It’s usually pretty quiet when doing regular cleaning.”
Zhao Ying Jun nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting feature,” she said honestly, then looked up and smiled. “No matter what, this is your first AI program completed independently, and that’s worth celebrating.”
“Thank you for gifting it to me. I think it has a lot of sentimental value. Maybe the future of AI at Rhine Company will take off from this adorable little vacuum cleaner.”
“So… as a witness to your brilliant future, I’ll gladly accept this gift. But don’t you think it would be more memorable if you gave it a name?”
Lin Xian chuckled. “I already have one in mind—VV.”
“Huh?” Zhao Ying Jun raised an eyebrow. “VV? My Pomeranian?”
“Exactly,” Lin Xian nodded. “Don’t you think they’re similar? Both small, cute, and white.”
Suddenly, Zhao Ying Jun seemed to realize something. “Oh…” She recalled the story Lin Xian had told her the day after her birthday earlier this year when he set off fireworks at the Disney Castle for her. He had said he dreamed of VV turning into a trash can and herself becoming a white jade statue, saying the trash can and the statue protected each other for centuries.
“Is that dream the inspiration for the name?” Zhao Ying Jun felt like the pieces were coming together. “That night at Disney, you told me about a dream where VV turned into a trash can. Is that why you named the vacuum cleaner VV?”
Though the two events were unrelated, they somehow seemed to fit together. “Sort of,” Lin Xian replied casually. “Let it clean your office. It’ll save you a lot of time.”
“Speaking of Disney,” he suddenly remembered a promise he made to Yan Qiao Qiao. He glanced at his smartwatch. “The day after tomorrow is Children’s Day. I promised Qiao Qiao we’d go to Disneyland. How’s she doing?”
Talking about Qiao Qiao seemed to soften Zhao Ying Jun instantly. She closed her pen cap and said, “Qiao Qiao? She’s been counting down the days, getting more excited every day, complaining to me about why time moves so slowly and it’s not June 1st yet.”
“I’ve already bought the tickets and made reservations. The VIP access is all set… You’re not busy, right, Lin Xian? Qiao Qiao mentions you several times a day. She even said… she said…”
She licked her lips and softly said, “She said being around you feels safe, like… a real father.”
“Really?” Lin Xian smiled. “I’m honored. This is the first time in my life I’ve received such a compliment.”
“I was thinking, since it’s Children’s Day, I should probably get her a gift. After all, kids… usually love receiving gifts, right?”
This novel is translated and hosted only on bcatranslation
Leaning back in her chair, Zhao Ying Jun chuckled softly. “Not just kids—nobody dislikes receiving gifts.”
Lin Xian tilted his head. Was there more to her words?
He tested the waters. “How about… I get you something too?”
Zhao Ying Jun laughed, rubbing her temples. “I’m not a kid. What would you get me?”
“Besides…” She looked down at her flat stomach with a meaningful smile. “I’ve already received a ‘big gift,’ haven’t I?”
Lin Xian blinked and glanced at the vacuum cleaner VV, which was now automatically cleaning in the corner of the office. This… it was just a vacuum cleaner. How could it be considered a “big gift”?
Back at home, it was only 4:30 in the afternoon. With VV’s revival sort of resolved—or rather, unresolved—it was fine to leave it with Zhao Ying Jun for now. After all, with his current skill level, there wasn’t much more he could do to help VV.
Moreover, there were more pressing matters to attend to. First, he needed to formulate his “History Revision Plan,” as required by the second challenge of the Genius Club, to stage a grand historical revision and pass the second test, moving on to the final question. Second, he had to hurry and get some sleep to see what had become of the dream world.
Since the numbers on the time-space clock had changed from 0.0000042 to 0.0000084, his dream world would inevitably shift from the fifth dream to the sixth dream. He had been eager to check it out last night, but various things had kept him busy. Now, he could finally explore it.
After a quick meal, Lin Xian brushed his teeth, changed into his pajamas, and, before the sunset, closed his eyes and drifted into sleep.
…
Bang! Crash! Rumble!
Forget about any familiar summer breeze. There wasn’t even a breeze!
Lin Xian felt as if his whole body were burning up and sweating. What was even more torturous was the constant clanking and clattering of machinery, stones, and dirt all around his ears. It was too loud. His eardrums were getting a beating. Was someone renovating a house?
Lin Xian opened his eyes—sure enough, the dream world had changed as expected. But where was this? Why were there so many people? And… everyone around him was shirtless, their skin tanned dark. Their clothes were mere rags, barely covering them.
“What is this place? A construction site?”
Lin Xian turned, looking around. He realized it did look like a construction site. However, it wasn’t a building site. It was a digging site!
He found himself in a massive pit, at least the size of ten football fields. This hole was enormous and, more importantly, deep. Lin Xian, like a frog at the bottom of a well, could only see a large rectangular patch of sky above him—no signs of any ground-level landscape.
The pit seemed to be about forty to fifty meters deep.
“What the heck is this place?”
Whether he was born in a city, a forest, or the cesspit beneath Sky City, he had never been this confused. At least in previous dreams, there was a gradual process of understanding where he was and what he needed to do. But this time, the dream had thrust him straight into the role, surrounded by busy workers. Some were moving tools, others clearing stones, but most were digging downward with shovels.
Why gather so many people to dig a hole? What were they digging for?
Just as Lin Xian was pondering, a muddy hand slapped him on the back.
“Daydreaming, are we? Hurry up and get to work, or we’re gonna get whipped!”
That familiar voice… Lin Xian turned his head and saw a legendary figure—the one who had defeated the SpaceTime Butterfly, dominated the millennium post, and ruled the River of Time…
“Big Cat?”
“Ahhh!!” Big Cat let out a painful scream. A scrawny man wearing a uniform with a gun on his hip lashed Big Cat with a whip, shouting curses, “Get back to work! Who told you to slack off?”
“Yes, sir! Yes, sir!” Big Cat bowed his head and apologized, then dragged Lin Xian aside and shoved a shovel into his hands, gritting his teeth. “It’s all your fault! Now I got whipped! Start digging! If we don’t get this section done by tonight, none of us will eat, and we’ll all get beaten!”
Without wasting a moment, Big Cat started digging furiously. Lin Xian decided to play along. He picked up the shovel and began digging as well, asking casually, “Big Cat, what are you guys digging for? And why are you in such bad shape this time, looking like a slave… Is that a pair of underpants? It doesn’t cover anything, swaying all over the place.”
“Shhh—” Big Cat turned pale with fright, glancing around cautiously. He glared at Lin Xian. “Still talking out loud? If they hear you, you’ll get whipped too!”
Lin Xian stayed quiet for a moment, surveying his surroundings. He noticed that almost all the diggers around were in the same condition as Big Cat—exhausted, but too afraid to stop, gritting their teeth and pushing on. Their skin was dark from the sun, and most of them had sunburnt skin. Worse, everyone had scars—wounds that had clearly been inflicted by whips.
No wonder Big Cat was so scared. These people were like slaves or laborers. Anyone who dared take a break would get a whip across their back. And if they pushed too far, they might get beaten half to death or worse, killed on the spot.
Realizing how strict the rules were in this “digging site,” Lin Xian moved closer and asked softly, “Big Cat, what are we digging for? I mean… what are they making us dig for?”
Lin Xian understood that he was also a slave among them. This starting point was really bad; the moment he entered the dream, his role was locked in.
“Who knows what we’re digging for? We just dig!” Big Cat wiped the sweat from his forehead.
“Are we digging for a micro nuclear battery?” Lin Xian guessed.
“As if it would take this much effort!” Big Cat snorted. “Micro nuclear batteries are everywhere. If that were it, we wouldn’t be suffering this much!”
Lin Xian was puzzled. “Then what the hell are we doing here?”
“I have no idea!” Big Cat’s eyes were clear and innocent. “They tell us to dig, so we dig!”
“Okay, okay,” Lin Xian waved his hand. It seemed he wouldn’t get any useful information out of Big Cat. What about the strategist? Is he still here in this dream?
Lin Xian dug another shovelful of dirt and moved closer to Big Cat. “Where’s Ah Zhuang?”
“Oh, you still remember Ah Zhuang? Wasn’t he beaten to death by the foreman?”
“What about Er Zhuzi?”
“Ughh… Don’t bring him up. If he hadn’t ogled the foreman’s wife, we wouldn’t have all gotten whipped.”
“Where is Er Zhuzi?”
“He was chopped up and fed to the dogs by the foreman! Nothing left… not even poop!”
“And San Pang?” Lin Xian spread his hands. “San Pang was such a kind and honest guy; he wouldn’t do anything wrong, right?”
“Humph.” Big Cat snorted coldly. “San Pang mouthed off when the foreman was dealing with Er Zhuzi, so he got fed to the dogs too.”
“…”
Lin Xian felt some sympathy. It seemed the Face Gang had almost been wiped out, leaving Big Cat as the only one standing.
“What about Li Cheng and Li Ning Ning? Do you know them?”
Big Cat, annoyed, shook his head. “Who the hell are they? I just want to dig and eat! Can you stop talking? I’m the one getting whipped, not you!”
“I’m digging, aren’t I?” Lin Xian felt he was being quite cooperative with Big Cat. This was the fastest he’d ever gotten into character in any dream. He’d already shoveled a lot of dirt by now. As a former model citizen, he had never suffered like this before—just trying to gather some intel.
“Is there anyone here who actually knows what we’re digging for?” Lin Xian asked, feeling a bit desperate. “Anyone who can explain what we’re doing?”
“We’re digging for ‘Turing,’” a tall, muscular man with dark skin and sharp features said softly from beside him. “We’ve changed excavation sites several times already. They’re digging for ‘Turing,’ supposedly a very powerful object that tribes all over the world are searching for.”
This man seemed to know a lot about the world. Lin Xian was just about to ask more questions when Big Cat sneered, “Hey, look at that, Mr. Unlucky! You sure know a lot!”
The man called “Mr. Unlucky” frowned and looked at Big Cat. “Big Cat, I’d appreciate it if you were polite and didn’t call me ‘Mr. Unlucky.’ I have a name.”
“Oh, really?” Big Cat howled. “You call me ‘Big Cat’ and expect me to call you by your name? Where’s the fairness in that?”
Then, laughing like he was telling a joke, Big Cat explained to Lin Xian, “Brother, you have no idea how unlucky this guy is.”
“He’s not even from this era. When we were digging at the last site, we just happened to uncover an underground hibernation chamber base! Most of the hibernation pods were destroyed in the Great Catastrophe of 2400, but his was the only one still functioning!”
“And guess what? Hahaha… The foreman just tied him up and put him to work. How unlucky is that? He might have been better off dying with the others!”
“And when the foreman was looting his stuff, he took this guy’s storage box too. Now he doesn’t have his notebook from before hibernation, doesn’t know his past, and doesn’t even know his real name. The only name he knows… is what the foreman called him when he whipped him!”
“So, after all that bad luck, you still don’t want people to call you ‘Mr. Unlucky’? Ahh!!”
This novel is translated and hosted only on bcatranslation
Another whip came down. Big Cat squealed like a pig. “Work! Dig!” The supervisor in uniform shouted, lashing Big Cat a couple more times before walking away.
Big Cat gritted his teeth, his face turning red, and kept his head down, silently digging.
Lin Xian approached the man called “Mr. Unlucky.” Judging by his age, he seemed at least a decade older than Lin Xian. He clearly had more brains than Big Cat and knew more about what was going on.
So Lin Xian asked politely, “Brother, what’s your name?”
“Gao Wen,” the man said as he shoveled some dirt. “I don’t have any memories from before hibernation, and I never saw the notes I left behind, so I don’t know if this name is real.”
“But compared to being called ‘Mr. Unlucky,’ I’d rather you respect me and call me by this name—Gao Wen.”